One of the biggest challenges I have faced in my walk is the challenge of leaving my past behind. For a lot of us, our pasts are full of stuff that we feel ashamed of. I will be the first to admit that letting that shame go is hard. I personally felt unworthy and unwanted when I thought of my past and the mistakes I made. There are few people that actually know the story of my past, and even fewer still that have heard the worst of it. Those that have heard displayed nothing but good will toward me; never once did any of them turn around and tell others, none of them threw it back in my face, and all of them said that they had been in a similar boat at one time. Yet I still to this day feel shame when I think about telling people my full story, and I was still full of the feelings of being unwanted and unworthiness constantly picking at me. However, the bible tells us, through a culmination of verses, that God forgives and forgets our sin. If you confess your sins to God, then the shame of those sins is wiped away, and you are made anew in Him. While at the Motion Conference in Alabama at the end of this summer, the big thing that God was laying on my heart was that our pasts should not dictate our futures. The events of the past cannot be changed, and they have been forgiven and forgotten. But at the same time we should not totally abandon our pasts. You must keep your guard up, or those mistakes of the past may come back to attempt to trap you again, and you need to be prepared with God to defend against them. And I know a key thing for this type of devotion is for the writer to practice what is preached, so I will let the shame go and let you all in on my past. I was an addict. Not of tobacco, or drugs, or self-image. I was addicted to pornography. It’s a serious addiction that comes back to nip at my heels constantly. And I am very ashamed of the choices I made that led to that addiction. But I am letting that shame go. This is my freedom day. The day that I let the world in on my secret. And I have to be totally honest with you all; I still have to fight this addiction. It’s not easy, and the shame will probably continue to creep in on me whenever it gets the chance, but now I have nothing to hide. And that shame will fade. As Isaiah 61:7 says, “Instead of shame you shall have double honour.” Now it’s your turn. Find a buddy, and just pour out your shame. Let go of the secrets in your past that bite at you. Turn from your shame and when it tries to come back into your life, push it away. Pray for God to help you fight the shame, the addictions, the secrets that haunt your thoughts.
